hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I did not marry a roomba.
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