Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
