No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
