I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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