You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm always down for nudity.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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