Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
