one two three fourrrrnication!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
In America we eat man semen.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
