It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
