now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
