dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
