When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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