the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
