Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
