He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
