its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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