Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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