do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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