Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
