it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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