Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
