dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
