rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
