i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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