nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
