I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
