I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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