Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
