Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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