So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
