I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
A+ Viking dick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
