What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
