hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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