Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
