whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
