I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
People in love make me want to vomit
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Found the puke drawer
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
