When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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