I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
