thus making me awesome and them whores
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
