You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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