We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
