You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Randomize
