I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
