woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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