We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
