thus making me awesome and them whores
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
