You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
