Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
