i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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