eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
