Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
