garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
