Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
