I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
